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Honor and SOAR!

   
Psalm 36:7
How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.



[We are currently under construction.] 
I dedicate this page to my husband Hector, my son Freddy, and our wonderful 'adoptive' daughter Kiha. I love my family! And I am continually amazed at God's abundant grace in giving me such a blessing, one I wasn't sure I would ever have. So the preciousness of the steadfast love of God is magnificently clear to me. I do take refuge in the shadow of His wings, and I will continue to lead my children to do so as well.

I didn't meet my husband until I was 36, and I had exactly one boyfriend prior to that. I had many pure and brotherly and loving male friends, and I thank them all for their kindnesses, patience, and genuine affection towards me. But it's not the same as being married. And although my husband and I are not perfect and do not have the perfect marriage, it seems to suit us both. We get along, and we enjoy each other's company, and we managed to raise an wonderful son. All things for which I am supremely grateful to my loving heavenly Father. I deserve none of it, but He has chosen to bless me richly with these relationships, and my heart is overflowing.

I have learned much and I have grown much, and I am still not perfect. Like the Apostle Paul, I have not "laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the  upward call of God in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13-14) And yes, this applies to my marriage and my family. I have much for which to look forward: my son getting married, then having his own children; Kiha graduating, getting married and having her own children! But I also know that whatever the Lord does in the coming years, it will be good, because He is good: "The Lord, the Lord! Gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness." Psalm 103:8
  1. Keep On Learning To Dance by Tim Challies

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A wonderful article on the changes and challenges of being married.

"If you are married, you need to learn the dance, the rhythms, patterns, habits, and actions that promote the deepest intimacy, the healthiest sexuality. But also be aware that the music has a way of changing at the whim, or perhaps better said, the design of the band leader. And when the music changes, be ready, be willing, be eager to learn the new dance." Continue reading here: 
​https://www.challies.com/articles/keep-on-learning-to-dance/?utm_content=buffer88725&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

To Love, Honor and Cherish

respect [ri-​​spekt] - verb (used with object)
to hold in esteem or honor; to show regard or consideration for

love [luhv] - verb (used with object), 
to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person)

honor [​​​​on-er] - verb (used with object)
to hold in honor or high respect; revere:
to honor one's parents.

Ephesians 5:33 states, "...each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband."​ No, I'm not going to talk about 'submission' and 'Christ-like love'. Sorry, but that is too complex for this little page. What I would like to do is mention the verses preceding this controversial passage from the Bible, in Ephesians 5: 

"1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; 2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma...6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience...15 Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, 16 making the most of your time, because the days are evil. 17 So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is...21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ."

What the Apostle Paul is talking about here, clearly stated (also in Ephesians 5) starting in verse 18: "...but be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; 20 always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father," is being filled with the Holy Spirit. Personally, I believe these are the central verses of the whole chapter, not verses 25-33 (the controversial part). Part of what it looks like to 'be filled with the Holy Spirit,' is that husbands will love their wives, and wives will respect their husbands. 

So, a list from Ephesians 5 of what it means to be filled with the Holy Spirit might look like this:

  • immitate God
  • walk in love...as a fragrant aroma
  • let no one deceive you
  • walk in a wise way
  • make the most of the time
  • don't be foolish
  • understand the will of the Lord
  • be subject to one another
  • speak to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs
  • sing and make melody with your heart to the Lord
  • always give thanks for all things
  • husbands love their wives
  • wives respect their husbands


This list is not complete, but I think you get the idea. 'Being filled with the Holy Spirit' means much more than we often think. But one must ask, how is this accomplished? Many of us have, or have had, honorable spouses; respected members of the community who are looked up to as leaders, as examples of moral integrity and fortitude; being upstanding members of their churches and community organizations and, by example, leading their families in "right paths". And yet we know unequivocally that they are not perfect people. 

They have 'issues', they have 'problems'. Their personality can be grating at times. They don't get our jokes. They don't have a sense of humor. They don't clean up after themselves. They don't think ahead. They have a hard time forgiving. They don't speak my love language. They try too hard; they don't try hard enough. They don't take the lead, or they don't follow. They don't want to change, or they change too slowly. Blah, blah, blah. And my personal favorite, they are NEVER giving thanks. 

It seems to me that the only real question is, "Am I filled with the Holy Spirit?" Because this is clearly not dependent on anything else: not how I feel, not what else is going on in my life, independent of my circumstances—just me, making a choice before God, about whether or not I will be filled with the Holy Spirit. [Please note, if this does not make sense to you, please see my page wingsSpirit and listen to the videos at the top of the page that present the gospel message. It is NOT possible to 'be filled with the Holy Spirit' unless you are a believer in Jesus Christ. This is my deepest desire for each of you.] 

It is definitely a choice. We know that we have the Holy Spirit living inside us, from the moment we give ourselves to Christ. (Ephesians 4:30, 'Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.') Think about that for a moment...the HOLY SPIRIT OF GOD...LIVES IN YOU...right now. Right where you are, whatever you are doing. That is why we are also exhorted to live godly lives: 1 Corinthians 3:16, 'Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?' It's true, regardless of your feelings, or your actions, or your words and attitudes. But He is a gentleman; He will not violate your will. You can grieve Him and lock Him up: and He will patiently wait for you to let Him fill you. But He will never abandon you; He will never leave you (Hebrews 13:5), no matter what your choices. 

 




















But sometimes we need to stand back and get a glimpse of the "big picture", the way God sees it. He has it all planned out, you know. But maybe you didn't know this: God always gets His way. Don't ever think any differently! That, by itself, is enough for you to know that you are where you're supposed to be. And since God has ordained that you are where you are, perhaps it would be a good idea to go along with Him. You know, cooperate. Not banging your head against the wall, wishing you had something else; not grumbling and complaining because your life isn't perfect; not envious because someone else has something (or everything) you want. Give in. Allow yourself to be content. Allow yourself to be happy. 

Since God has you right where He wants you, and you don't want to be fighting against the Holy Spirit who lives within you, maybe it's time to FIND something you can love and respect in your spouse. There is a reason you fell in love and got married. Remember that. Because you cannot be filled with the Holy Spirit, enjoying all the blessings God has for you, and not be loving and respecting your spouse.
You are a new creature. Like a butterfly who was once a caterpillar, you are beautiful and can fly above your circumstances. (One thing you cannot do, however, is go back to being a caterpillar.) The secret is in training your thoughts. There are some very good reflections regarding this on my page wingsSpirit, "Thinking Right". Learning to think rightly is very key to this whole business. If you do not understand that you are exactly where you are supposed to be***, it will be difficult to get through the tough times: the times where your patience is at its end, where your joy is frizzled out, and where your love tank is seriously depleted. Yes, there will be times like that for everyone—it isn't just you! You are not alone.

Links and References

Verses are quoted from the New American Standard Bible.
Tim Challies is an encouraging, challenging guy. He has a daily blog and you can read about him at the site, https://www.challies.com/brief-biography/ 
***I am not suggesting that you are to stay married regardless of abuse. There are several kinds of abuse and most are very difficult to impossible to work through. Please counsel with your pastor or spiritual mentor if you are in an abusive situation and GET HELP. No one "deserves" to be abused, including you!